Sometimes it’s hard to believe that Ellie’s already 7 weeks old. I have to agree with many moms that this period of the baby’s life really goes by in a flash, even though it can sometimes feel like it’s really slow when she cries or acts fussy.

Two weekends ago, the three of us made a trip out to Shinjuku for a picnic under the cherry blossoms with the Tokyo Mother’s group. It was the first time the three of us went that far for a long period of time and it was nice. Ellie was calm the entire trip and I think she enjoyed being outdoors. We also took a long overdue family photo of the three of us. Unfortunately, Ellie was in the sun and so her face didn’t come out as well but it’s a family photo nonetheless.

Actually, now that I have had a chance to digest and reflect on the labor and the first few weeks of her birth, I find myself wishing that we had taken more photos when we were in the hospital. We never took a family photo because both Jason and I were a mess trying to calm Ellie down most of the time. I was also in pain from the labor and from the breastfeeding and we were also quite worried about Ellie since she was Jaundiced, under weight and not getting enough milk from me. Yea, I guess we were going through a really rough first few weeks which makes it hard for me to think straight…..but thinking back, I really wish we had taken a family photo in the hospital and photos of her entire body and not just her face….I don’t have enough of those to see how much she’s grown in these past 7 weeks.

In fact, I didn’t really think that she grew that much until I skyped my parents and my mom commented that Ellie has grown much bigger than the last time she saw her which was when she was 2 weeks old. The photos I have of her don’t really show her growth but I can definitely tell from holding her. She is much heavier than when she was born and I swear she is a lot bigger too but according to her medical records, she’s only grown about 3 cm.

Yea, I can’t seem to get over the fact that there were so many missed photo opportunities but I guess it can’t be helped. We were too busy and stressed trying to figure her out that photo ops weren’t top priorities. Now that things have gotten better, I just have to make sure that I take advantage of these moments and try to get in as many photos as I can.

Man, she’s growing up so fast….

Up until today, Ellie has never been on public transportation. The few times I’ve gone out, I’ve walked to the locations because they’re near our apartment or I’ve taken a taxi. I guess I didn’t feel comfortable taking her into crowded, enclosed spaces. That and I always have this fear that she’ll wake up and scream bloody murder.

Today, the two of us took her first trip on the subway and then later on her first trip on a bus. Both trips were good trips since she stayed asleep.

We first stopped by the international school where I worked. They were having a baby shower bbq for 3 of the teachers and I wanted to stop by just to say hi and congratulations as well as to get some human contact with familiar faces. You have no idea how great it was to be around people! I’ve been cooped up in the apartment so much with just Ellie that I’ve forgotten how much I enjoyed being outside with other adults. While we were at TIS, I got to meet Amber’s baby too! He’s so cute! I just hope that soon Ellie will be the same thing and not a fussy newborn.

After the bbq, Ellie and took the chii bus to Roppongi. Normally, I’d sit down if there’s an open seat on the bus but I didn’t want to risk waking her up. Plus the swaying of the bus when standing helps keep her asleep. You have no idea how glad I was that she slept through the entire 20 minute bus ride…

We had some dinner with Jason and also met up with Ben briefly. One thing that’s nice about Roppongi Hills is that it had a nursing room on the 5th floor. By the time we were done with dinner, Ellie was starting to stir and show signs of hunger, so I took her into the nursing room where I fed and changed her in private. It’s nice to have a room to do that since I’m still not all that comfortable with feeding in public.

The entire time we were out, Ellie stayed asleep except for the 2 times when she woke up to eat. Amazingly enough, she never once cried or fussed around when we were out…she didn’t even make a sound when I changed her diaper! She always cries whenever we change her so it’s really amazing for me that she was so calm. Of course, as soon as I got home, Ellie went back to being the fussy baby she is and the night felt long again. Time really does fly when you are out and about but man does it slow down when you are home alone with her….

Ellie’s big day ended with her going poo twice…both times quite explosive with the second one being a GPD (great poopy disaster). Seriously, it got onto her clothes and all over her back….so we had to bath her and change her clothes. Yea, we knew that this could happen…but dude, it was seriously a lot of poo for one tiny baby…

Ellie is 1 month old! Though truthfully, it still feels like she’s a newborn. I can’t decide if she has gotten easier or harder to care for since she’s pretty much the same. She cries a lot and I’m still having trouble filling her up with just breastmilk. The one big difference now is that she is really gassy and her farts are killer. Oh and she’s gotten heavier though not heavy enough according to the doctor who checked up on her at her 1 month checkup. Seriously, is a 500g weight gain not enough?

I’ve been trying to go out a little bit with her now, though it’s still pretty scary going outside with her. The three of us actually went out today to check out the cherry blossoms over at Zojoji Temple. She slept in her sling most of the time but it was a nice little outing. I’ve also been out another 2 times with the Tokyo Mother’s group, which is good for my sanity since I get to be out of the house a little bit.

Everyone keeps telling me that things will get better but I’m not sure about that. Both Jason and I feel like Ellie is not like all the other kids and that if you look at it from a video game perspective, she is a baby on difficult/incredibly hard mode with a nonfunctional instructional manual while everyone seems to be getting the normal/easy mode babies with a good instruction manual and tutorial. I swear, other people who have had babies around the same time I did ended up getting babies that are low maintenance and can keep themselves entertained while Ellie just cries all the time and refuses to be put down. She’s like the exception to everything I’ve read about babies….

Anyway, here’s a picture of Ellie with a cherry blossom on her head. It’s her first cherry blossom viewing and she slept through it but it’s ok….better she sleep than to cry bloody murder while we are out in public.

So tired these days….and the breastfeeding thing is a pain….but I must hang in there since every drop of my milk is good for her…