I know I don’t have many people read my blog other than my family (hi, mom, dad, meems, Nicole and auntie Mary) and a few friends (hi Jen and Angel!) but I figure there’s no harm in sharing this with you.

Growing up, my dad has always taught us to be generous and to help those less fortunate than us.  It’s one of those lessons that’s stuck with me all my life and probably why I have no problem with donating to charity even when I’m tight on cash myself.

No, I’m not going to talk about helping Haiti by donating to all the relief agencies out there (though if you haven’t, it doesn’t hurt to go check it out and help out a little bit.  I know I did.)  This time, I’m talking about March of Dimes.  It’s a non profit organization that focuses on and brings awareness to the prevention of premature births and preventing birth defects and baby mortality.  You can read more about them at their website: www.marchofdimes.com.

Of course, ever since E was born, my heart grew very soft for charities and organizations that work on improving the lives of children and the March of Dimes is no exception.

They are an important organization for me because I referenced it a lot during my 3rd trimester when I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and anemia, both rather scary things to have when pregnant since it is potentially life threatening if not monitored.  Without the information that was provided on their website, I wouldn’t have been as informed about my own condition and about the risks I was putting us in by not having an induced labor.

So why am I bringing it up now?

It’s because Lori and her husband, Aaron, over at I Can Grow People, will be participating in the walk that is being held by their local chapter of March of Dimes.  Also because they went through a lot when their son, Porter, was born prematurely and she has been a strong advocate for bringing awareness to premature births through her blog.  Plus, her blog has helped me deal with E and my own experience as a first time mother.  Mostly it’s because I admire the courage and strength that they have with raising their son despite some of the bumps they’ve encountered after he was born.

I donated a little bit to their cause and if you are interested, you can also help them meet their goal also by donating at their team site.  They are doing this for Porter and I donated for E and for my nephew, Z’s sake.  If you’d rather donate directly to March of Dimes, you can do so by going to their website and look for the donate button.

Even if you don’t feel like donating (and since I probably just have 2 people who read this blog, this probably will be the case), please go check out Lori’s blog and read about her life as a mom to Porter.

Oh and speaking of blogs, another one of my favorite blogs that I read on a regular basis, Confessions of a Young Married Couple, is up for blog of the year award at the Bloggies 2010 awards.  Now, I don’t normally care for these types of things much but I really do love their blog and their take on parenthood so even if you don’t want to go and vote, you should really go read their blog.  I know I turned meems into a fan and I’m sure you’ll love reading about their son, the Bean.

Actually, you should just go check out who’s nominated for the Bloggies because I did and I found several new blogs that I absolutely fell in love with and will be following on Google reader from now on.

J.

Recently I signed up for an online blogging class.  It’s not so much that I need to learn how to blog since I’ve been doing it for a long time now (6 years maybe?).  I did it to help stimulate my thoughts and to get me to blog more often since I have a tendency to go days and weeks without a single post.

I’m about 2 weeks behind on the prompts that were given and since it’s a self paced class, I figure I can just catch up on those on some other days….

Anyway, today’s prompt is about looking back in time to a year ago or more and comparing how much our lives have changed.  For me that’s a simple one.

A year ago around this time, I was about 5 months pregnant.

I was experiencing the best times of my pregnancy since I was showing more but still comfortable to move around, sleep and do normal, everyday things. Yes, I actually slept well back then…

It was also before I knew I was having a girl and the realities of being a parent hadn’t hit me as hard yet.  I was still having happy dreams about having the perfect child and being this perfect mom who did everything perfectly.  What can I say…I was blissfully ignorant about the realities of having a baby.

And now….

The baby that was growing in my belly is a healthy, cheerful (though fussy), 8-month-old little girl who loves to put everything in her mouth and has the smile and laughter that makes even the coldest heart melt.

Sure, nothing about parenthood is like what I had imagined a year ago and there are days where it’s really tough dealing with E but I don’t regret any part of it.

Our lives have completely changed.  I no longer sleep well and the freedom I once had to do as I please is harder to obtain.  Every decision that Jason and I make these days have to take E into account and we’ve had to give up on many of our favorite activities because they weren’t suitable for her.

There are still days I wish that she was much easier to work with but her stubbornness and her temperament is what makes her special.  If anything else, I think she is a great reflection of Jason and me but with a much cuter and brighter smile.  Looking back to this past year, I would have to say that I’ve done well and I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else.

Trying to decide if I should move my blog from xanga to wordpress. It’s hard since I’ve been with Xanga for 6 years now and it’s a relatively easy to use blogging platform.
 
On the other hand, I have my own hosted site with wordpress that’s just sitting there waiting for me to update. It was originally meant to be a hamster blog but given how little time I have these days, I’m thinking of combining the two.
 
Hmm, xanga or wordpress…
 
For now I’ll just use posterous to post to both sites until I make up my mind.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that Ellie’s already 7 weeks old. I have to agree with many moms that this period of the baby’s life really goes by in a flash, even though it can sometimes feel like it’s really slow when she cries or acts fussy.

Two weekends ago, the three of us made a trip out to Shinjuku for a picnic under the cherry blossoms with the Tokyo Mother’s group. It was the first time the three of us went that far for a long period of time and it was nice. Ellie was calm the entire trip and I think she enjoyed being outdoors. We also took a long overdue family photo of the three of us. Unfortunately, Ellie was in the sun and so her face didn’t come out as well but it’s a family photo nonetheless.

Actually, now that I have had a chance to digest and reflect on the labor and the first few weeks of her birth, I find myself wishing that we had taken more photos when we were in the hospital. We never took a family photo because both Jason and I were a mess trying to calm Ellie down most of the time. I was also in pain from the labor and from the breastfeeding and we were also quite worried about Ellie since she was Jaundiced, under weight and not getting enough milk from me. Yea, I guess we were going through a really rough first few weeks which makes it hard for me to think straight…..but thinking back, I really wish we had taken a family photo in the hospital and photos of her entire body and not just her face….I don’t have enough of those to see how much she’s grown in these past 7 weeks.

In fact, I didn’t really think that she grew that much until I skyped my parents and my mom commented that Ellie has grown much bigger than the last time she saw her which was when she was 2 weeks old. The photos I have of her don’t really show her growth but I can definitely tell from holding her. She is much heavier than when she was born and I swear she is a lot bigger too but according to her medical records, she’s only grown about 3 cm.

Yea, I can’t seem to get over the fact that there were so many missed photo opportunities but I guess it can’t be helped. We were too busy and stressed trying to figure her out that photo ops weren’t top priorities. Now that things have gotten better, I just have to make sure that I take advantage of these moments and try to get in as many photos as I can.

Man, she’s growing up so fast….

It’s been a long week….and a very long stay at the hospital….one that also made me cry and doubt myself as a mother….

But we are home now and a new set of worries are driving me crazy….main one being whether or not my breastmilk is enough for Ellie….

So tired and so scared of being home alone with her without Jason around. When she cries….I just don’t know what to do….so glad my mom and grandmother are coming soon….

Almost time for another feeding….feeling so exhausted right now but happy….very, very happy…

One of my favorite moments when we were at the hospital…

More later….maybe….

Contractions are disappearing…Is that possible?
Tried sleeping a little but having a hard time…
I’m guessing I have to be close to 3cm now since the catheter is starting to fall out…
Feeling hungry but the hospital doesn’t want me to eat till after the delivery…
Baby still moving a lot…
They’re going to start me on the drip in a few hours. Let’s hope that’ll help and won’t be too painful.
Today’s going to be a very long day.

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